Has anyone ever said something to you that at the time felt normal and then remained embedded in your brain like it paid rent and deserved to be there?
Last a week, a client of mine said something that was absolutely meant as a compliment, and for some reason I have not stopped thinking about it.
"The best thing about you as that you don't act or look like a therapist."
(Or something along those lines).
And you know what? They're right. I don't. At least, not the ones you see on TV or think of when you think "therapist."
Some days, that feels like a badge of honor, because it takes a lot of work for me to show up authentically. Yet, that insecure part of me went on red alert. There's a voice in brain that's screams:
Oh shit, they see right through me. They know I'm different than I'm supposed to be.
Somehow, being different means bad.
Bad = inadequate, unlikeable, and a failure.
I'm writing this to let you know that even your therapist has these thoughts, and that they are a pretty normal part of the human experience. It's ok that there is a voice, or parts of yourself, that speak those doubts. Don't silence them, don't shame them. Care for them.
The part of me that is worried about perception and failure is ultimately there to protect me, and when I feel like maybe that voice is getting a little too loud I can say to it:
"It's ok. Thank you for protecting me. I am choosing to show up as myself because it is worth the risk."
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